Thursday, May 19, 2005

Wanted

One outfielder
A couple of pitchers
soulmate

Outfielder should possess an above average glove and a good bat. Not "Albert Belle, the year he had 100 extra base hits" good. More Luis Gonzales esque - we're reasonable. Outfilder should not be a highmaintence guy in the club house. Outfielder should possess some competitive fire and think that October Baseball is "really important". Cool nickname an added bonus.

Releivers are required to submit to strenuous psycological testing before any contract is finalized. Posteason experience, and preferrably success, a major bonus. Spot starters are also welcome to apply, and long term work may be available pending further tests on John Thompson. Relievers should under no circumstances endorse walks, especially leadoff walks. Long "lettuce" is a downer, but organization willing to compromise. Any outspoken commentary that is remotely political is forwned on by the organization.

Soulmate need not meet any specs save being female. 5'9", somewhat slender but definately curvey with at least C cups, good sense of humor, and empathy for things considered "geeky" is a major bonus. Outgoing and "adventurous" personality is ideal. Jello allergy is a deal breaker.

Baseball players should contact John Scheurholtz. Ladies should email me ASAP, with pictures and proof of identity.

Unfortunately, injuries are not something we can withstand well right now. Whether or not Kyle Davies can pitch well up here remains to be seen. He's clearly part of the club's future, but how much so? Schuerholtz and company have always shown a willingness to part with prospects, and it often seems to indicate in highsight that the club had doubts about a player. Needing 3 players is a problem, and that doesn't speak to possilby needing a new starter.

Sadly, the Braves prospects right now are far superior to my own.

Addendum: oy vey. Two to three months for John Thompson? This is not good. If Davies can't perform well in his first few starts, the club may be forced to seek a starter. That will complicate other deals considerably. I really hope we don't panic and give away guys like Chuck James.

3 Comments:

At 1:45 PM, Blogger Michael said...

Your standards are way too high for a new outfielder. Anyone with an average glove and an OPS over .600 would be an improvement over the current starters. Fortunately, there is a ready option within the organization who ought to get the first opportunity, but the question that follows is this: who gets the boot? Clearly not Langerhans, who has shown enough to justify continuing in a platoon role. Do you cut Mondesi, who is more durable than Jordan, but less likely to accept a part-time assignment, or Jordan, who is brittle, but who, unlike Mondesi, has had a good stretch at the plate this year and is a good guy to have around.

 
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